In a Nutshell: The Possession

0 out of 5 Lebowski’s

Starring: Jeffery Dean Morgan and Kyra Sedgewick

Directed by Ole Bornedal
 

I read an article on this movie stating that it was the PG-13 version of the Exorcist.

Well let me be the 1^st to say, the Exorcist scared me.

The Possession makes me want to go watch something else.

I feel like writing a review isn’t fair. This movie is that bad.

1^st off it just seems generic. It seems like they knew what they were going after, and they decided to add some meat, that never truly develops nor even has the chance to. It seems like they literally wanted to make a rated PG-13 Exorcist movie that should've been called "The Exorcist: -2.0 the Jewish version!"

I love what could’ve been in Jeffery Dean Morgan’s character, and he does a great job of not completely annoying us. He’s the typical dad that is never there, still seemingly in love with the life that he left behind, but jumps at the chance to truly get what he really wants in life: Be a college basketball coach. Which if it had more meat, would’ve been an interesting plot and added more depth, and possibly more thrills to the movie. Whenever he is a Dad, it’s once again, the typical, can’t cook, so he buys pizza. Late for everything but thinks that the best thing to do is to buy his way into his daughter’s hearts.

Kyra Sedgewick is boring. I really like her as an actress, but this is just a paycheck for her. Her character has no interesting bone in her body, or script. Her character obviously still has feelings for Dean Morgan, which asks the question when and why did they get divorced? And why, if it was recent, is everyone okay with the new boyfriend coming around so often? It doesn’t make sense, and I don’t think anyone cares.

Back to Mr. Dean Morgan, the Javier Bardem American knock off.  

So he buys them whatever they want. Problem is, what he buys them could kill them. A mysterious box appears from the holocaust, which is a pretty cool story, one of the 2 things that could've made this a good movie. And then, one of the daughters starts acting looney. The fingers coming out of the throat while having a cough is pretty cute.

Exactly.

It’s cute. It gets you a little bit, but it never freaks you out.

So the moth’s come, the bodies pile, “The Posession” starts to happen. Pun intended. The Rabbi's start getting involved, knowing the history of the box and acting is if they were waiting for it or running from it. One of them is brave enough to fight the good fight. Then all hell breaks loose, mimicking or resembling every "Possession" movie in the past 40 years starting from the one it tries to be like most in the Exorcist.

Problem is, it gives none of those movie's any justice. It makes the Unborn look like the Pulp Fiction of scary movies.
You probably don't remember The Unborn, and that's good for you.

I actually wanted to take a nap a few times. And this is coming from the guy that loved “The Devil Inside” but agrees that it was the worst possession movie ever because of its stupid ending.

Well move over, Devil’s Inside, the Devil was not inside the Posession.

It’s labeled a horror movie, when really it shouldn’t have been under anything. It should’ve never been made.

The ending is a joke, and like I said it’s not amusing. It’s a shame that movies like this are made, and probably make millions in profit. But there are other great horror films like the 1^st 2 Rec. films that will never be watched in the United States, because of crap like this and the Quarantine movies, and the Snakes on A Plane’s and blah, blah, blah.

In a Nutshell: The Possession is the worst horror movie I’ve seen with so much publicity. It’s a horror movie, with absolutely no horror. You don’t laugh at it either, you just wonder why you can’t get a refund. Or better than that, why you can’t have that 1 hour and 30 minutes back to go watch another movie.